that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Randomize
