I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
