OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
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