my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
This is the high leading the old right now
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
Randomize
