i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
