At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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