I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
My vagina just clenched in fear
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
