dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
Randomize
