oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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