his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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