Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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