Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
I have demons in me.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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