..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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