the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Randomize
