Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
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