I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
