i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Randomize
