I looked at my own cervix.
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
