the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
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