WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
