I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
Randomize
