He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
