After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
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