Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
Randomize
