so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
there was a trapeze. enough said
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
