That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
