You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
