i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
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