I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
Randomize
