booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
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