oh god the rape fog is back!
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
I just counted my steps so I know when you start looking for you on my way back from the bathroom
You know how us drunks love counting steps
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
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