i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
