i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
Randomize
