home. puking in laundry basket.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
May the power of my ass compel you!!
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
Randomize
