a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Randomize
