I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
