Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
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