i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
Randomize
