Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Randomize
