that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
