ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
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