goodnight i made you a song goodbye
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
