just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
