she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
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