Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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