I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
Randomize
