there's paper in my vomit.
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
COCAINE IS GR8
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Randomize
