My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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