Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
