I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
the day after is always just damage control
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
