Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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