I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
Randomize
