I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Randomize
